One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
