No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
