i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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