Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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