I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
