Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We have so much sex to catch up on
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
