Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
