I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
