Little spoons don't ask big questions
She just used a chaser for red wine.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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