she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
