he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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