Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
