don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
