just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
