I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
