Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
