My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
