Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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