Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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