I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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