I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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