So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
