Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
