real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
