So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Randomize
