somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
