my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Come see our sink grown plant.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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