You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
