i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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