You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize