the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
