why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
