There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
