eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
