I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
