I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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