mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
