my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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