Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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