ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
