he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
