I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
