Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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