Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ugly people sure do ruin things
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You made out with two different species that night
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
