Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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