I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
