Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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