So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
