Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
