I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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