I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
